“Why do you go all the way to Bergenfield to pick up your Xanax pills?” my wife Lauren asked me.

“Drive-thru window. I can avoid people.”

“I think they should up your dose.”

I was joking actually. I love going inside, grabbing a Snickers bar (or M&M’s if I’m on a diet) and eating it while I wait for my prescription. 1 I then dispose of all evidence of the candy bar event to avoid Lauren’s wrath. <—– CLICK ON THESE RED BOXES FOR MY TERRIBLE JOKES

The real reason I travel to Bergenfield is the pharmacy clerk at the Walgreens near us always says the name of your prescription loudly to confirm the medication is correct. And, of course, half the store then hears what horse tranquilizer my doctor has prescribed to keep me upright.