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The Chaperone
Lauren [my wife]: I signed you up to be a chaperone for Liz’s class trip.
Me: You know I have a job as a lawyer. Right?
Lauren: I would take it a bit more seriously if you didn’t only claim you were a lawyer when you don’t want to do things.
Me: No, I don’t.
Lauren: And claim you’re a writer only when an attractive woman asks you what you do.
Me: That is not true.
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The Procedure
If you’re not familiar with our son’s story, first check out this piece I wrote for Scary Mommy: The End of Innocence
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Monday afternoon – Boston Children’s Hospital – bathroom
I rub up against my wife, Lauren, while she washes her hands.
“What are you doing?” Lauren asks.
I shrug my shoulders.
“You want to have sex in the bathroom of a children’s hospital while our son is having an eight-hour surgery?”
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